Dating A Sexual Assault Survivor

By Kiera Carney

(TW) Trigger Warning: Please note, this post contains discussion of sexual trauma.

In the dating world, it is not unlikely that you may have a partner who has been sexually assaulted. Internationally, roughly 736 million women have been victims of sexual violence. Those who have experienced sexual trauma are very likely to have a harder time successfully navigating a relationship, whether it is communication, triggers, or support. It shouldn’t be completely on the victim to accommodate these barriers that are unfairly placed in the way of their pursuit of emotional and physical intimacy. It is important for a partner to understand what it means to date someone who has had these types of experiences, and learn how to be cognizant of the effects they may experience. 

Photo by Ahmet Sali on Unsplash

As someone who has experienced sexual assault, I, like many others, have found it difficult to feel validated from partners that I’ve had after the assault. Although it is a fact that assault is never the victim’s fault and there is no excuse for assault, it is not always easy to feel that way, and survivors will sometimes worry that they are to blame. Personally, I think that the most important thing an intimate partner can do is to make sure that their partner is feeling emotionally validated and that, although they can’t fully know what they went through was like, they believe them and are unconditionally there for them. To do so, it is important to allow the survivor to open up at their own pace, and to actively listen when they approach the conversation.

Understanding Intimate Partner Violence

Source: https://unilaglss.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/wpid-domestic-violence.jpg?w=673&zoom=2

By Remington Jensen

When searching for “spouse abuse statistics” on Google, a recommended question by the search engine popped up, asking the question “When did it become illegal to beat your wife?” Taken aback, I read the sentence again, a sentence that sounded like the question asker was displeased about now missing out on an antiquated and unbecoming act, like that of spousal abuse.

My eyes were bouncing back and forth on the search page like a Newton’s cradle, reading the sentence repetitively to decipher why the question sounded like an angsty child whose bedtime was moved to an hour earlier. I wondered why the opposite didn’t reveal itself to me. I wondered how the idea of spousal abuse was less of a tragedy and more of a indulgence to men, and why this terrible act seemed to weigh more towards women not being victims but rather exclusive figures to lash anger out onto.

Why has this malicious act of violence towards women become less of a crime and more of a phenomenon of missing out? Is it because for decades men have been allowed a legal and cultural right to abuse women? Is it because despite spousal abuse being made illegal in the 1920s, modern attention towards and advocacy against domestic abuse didn’t surface until the 1970s?

It would be outlandish to even think that such an antiquated problem as domestic abuse would even still be a problem in the age of Facebook and cell phone cameras, right?

Choosing Not to Report

By Makayla Sundquist

Trigger Warning: This post discusses multiple survivors’ sexual assault experiences and may be triggering for others who have also experienced sexual assault. 

The #MeToo movement created more awareness about the presence of sexual assault. Photo from Poynter.com

If you have been keeping up with the University of Idaho news lately, you will notice the attention a 2013 sexual assault case is getting. The Idaho Statesman recently discovered a survivor’s testimony on a blog site, and ran a story that covered the investigation. (Read here). Long story short, the survivors did not receive the help from the athletic department they needed. Both people involved were athletes at UI, but the athletic department only protected the assaulter. The survivors then went to the Women’s Center, and the staff there took the case to the Dean of Students for an investigation. The assaulter was no longer allowed to play football at UI. However,  he is now playing for a team in New York (which I do not agree with, but that is a conversation for another day).

Throughout all of this buzz, I have heard some comments questioning why the survivor did not go directly to the Dean of Students. Some of these comments were in poor taste. Others were genuinely curious. Even though the two women who were sexually assaulted at UI chose to report their assault to the police and the athletic department, it is common for survivors to never report. But why?

Want a Dose of Cognitive Dissonance?

Question Marks

By Brianna Love

When an 8-month-old baby girl is raped in India, women across the United States took a stance on Twitter to spread the word that this is not okay. The reaction some men had on Twitter was not pleasing at all. From death threats to just plain calling the women sexist, why does spreading the word of such a tragedy hit a nerve with men?

Swati Jai Hind, Twitter username: @SwatiJaiHind, tweeted about the baby on January 29 at 9:09 a.m. Her tweet said, “The worst has happened. An 8 month old baby has been brutally raped in the Capital and is battling for her life in a Hospital. Going to the hospital to meet her. Am totally numb. Terrified to face her. Please please pray for her.” By 10:50 a.m. Nivesh Agarwal replied with “Is this tweet a concern or a stunt .. Why do we write all these things on Social Media to gain sympathy or voters support.”

A Picture of the American Sex Worker

By Rosemary Anderson

As I write this article, I want to make it known that the sex industry is not always positive for women and girls. According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, sex workers around the world have a 45 to 75 percent chance of experiencing violence during their careers.

When sex workers do experience violence, they are not protected by rape shield laws and are not eligible for compensation funds.

Many see sex workers as objects, non-human, and second-rate members of society. This makes sex workers even more prone to being victims of violence.

Women are forced into sex work without their consent, others are forced into sex work because of financial situations, and some choose sex work as their profession.

Vagina Monologues: Still Making a Difference 22 Years Later

Image with text “The Vagina Monologues”

By: Paola Aguilar

When I first went to see The Vagina Monologues, I had no idea what to expect. I should not have been surprised to find that it was a collection of monologues about vaginas. The Vagina Monologues was first written in 1994 by Eve Ensler and is based on dozens of interviews. The play addresses issues with sexuality, rape, and violence against women. What is so powerful about TVM is not only the array of topics which are openly addressed, but the contributions the production makes to the V-Day campaign. The movement was established on Valentine’s Day in 1998 in New York City. The mission of V-Day is to end violence to women and girls around the world. As part of V-Day, proceeds from The Vagina Monologues are directed to local organizations that work to end violence against women and girls. Here in Moscow, the production of TVM benefits Alternatives to Violence of the Palouse.

“It Happens” Photo Series Challenges the Stereotypes Associated with Sexual Assault

By Olivia Heersink

(Trigger warning: the following post contains images and dialogue related to sexual assault.)

From the innocence of adolescence through adulthood, women in our society are internalizing fear and silence. Most women begin their preparations for sexual assault at a young age, and are well-versed in the precautions they must take before they reach adulthood. In fact, avoiding being raped is an epidemic for women in our society. On average, there are 288,820 victims of rape and sexual assault each year in the United States, alone.

We teach women how not to be raped rather than teaching men about consent, respect, and mutual sexual expression. Not surprisingly, this strategy is ineffective at best. Every two minutes another American is sexually assaulted.

Sex crimes are unique because they are extremely private yet prevalent. Every sexual assault is unique to the victim; yet so many women, and sometimes men, have had similar experiences. Falling victim to a sex crime is an experience that makes the victim feel ashamed of something that happened to their own body.

America Ferrera: Empowering the Hispanic Community

By Stephanie Sampson

America Ferrera on Glamor Magazine discussing body positivity

Women all over the world are advocating for equality in numerous ways. This week on our blog, we are celebrating International Women’s Day, and recognizing those significant women. One of the women that deserve to be recognized is America Ferrera. She is commonly known for her role in Ugly Betty, Real Women Have Curves, Superstore, Our Family Wedding, as well as her strong role in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. But many people don’t know that she has been actively raising the profile of Latinos in popular culture.

Three Feminist Punk Bands You Need to Check Out

By Stephanie Sampson

Members of Pussy Riot, a feminist Russian punk rock band

Feminist Punk is a feminist movement that originally started in the 1990’s in the Pacific Northwest that combines women empowerment, punk music and politics. This genre is inspiring women all over the world to express themselves.

Emma May from Scene Reports said that over the past couple of years, as groups like indie-pop heartthrobs Death Cab for Cutie and the bearded Fleet Foxes have mostly disbanded, the members of Seattle’s most-renowned alternative bands have shifted from primarily sad-white-dudes-in-flannel to women in outspokenly feminist bands.

“Smile!”—why catcalling is never a compliment

By Madison Teuscher

“Hey, sexy!”

I turned around as he and his friends made kissing noises and whistled at me like a dog. I yelled “F*** off!”, and one guy shouted “What an ugly bitch!” to the back of my head. He didn’t know anything about me. He saw me as an object, not a person.

Street harassment is threatening, scary, and limits people’s access to public spaces. It does not matter whether a woman is in heels or jeans, a dress or yoga pants. It makes no difference if it is 3 p.m. or 3 a.m., whether she is alone or with a group of friends. Street harassment cannot continue in any form. Women are not objects. Period.