Hell’s Holiday

By Emily Reese 

Do you think Satan wraps presents this nicely?
https://www.plannthat.com/create-a-holidays-gift-guide/

It’s that time of year again. The car needs to be warmed up for 20 minutes before you can drive it and you shiver the whole time you take your dogs to the bathroom. At least the snow is pretty (when/if it ever comes). Of course, skiing and snowboarding are the saving grace of the winter season, given that you have the financial means to access these luxuries. Oh yeah, then there’s the holidays. If you’re into that sort of thing. I hate to sound like a Grinch, but the holidays are rather lackluster for me. I can really do without the Christmas songs playing everywhere the day after Thanksgiving and the pressure to spend hundreds of dollars on gifts for people you don’t really know. But more than that, the holidays can be especially tiresome and stressful for those who may not align ideologically with their family or those who carry out the majority of the tasks associated with the practices that occur during the holidays. Maybe some of you are still reeling from Thanksgiving, and with Christmas quickly approaching, it doesn’t seem like there’s much time available to recover and reflect. In this article, I’d like to explore some of the reasons why the holidays can be particularly draining and suggest some ways to mitigate some of the wintery burnout.  

Not even this tree is safe from my cats.
https://pixexid.com/image/a-minimalist-papercut-christmas-tree-made-of-green-construction-paper-stands-alo-06uv06u1

I can quickly think of a handful of cliché stressors that come from the holidays. Aunty Beth asking if you have a partner yet. Grampa Richard complaining about lazy youth and the disintegration of “good old fashioned American values.” Cousin Susan’s had too much wine and keeps pinching your cheeks, and there’s a weird uncle whom you barely know sulking in the corner. All under a haze of twinkly lights and the smell of icy pine. But other than the general awkwardness and social discomfort that some of us know so well, there are other experiences that are much more emotionally challenging. Such as the experience of a girl named Vivian, whose identity isn’t welcome in her family.  

“I came out as a trans woman to my family several months ago and I haven’t had a holiday with my extended family yet. I know my mom is coming around, but my dad isn’t, and no extended family knows. I’m worried about whether I’ll have to pretend to be a boy for a week or if I’ll even be welcome at all. I’m dreading constantly being misgendered and treated like the nephew grandson I always presented to them, rather than who I actually am. I’m dreading disguising myself just to make my family happy at my own expense.” 

Vivian

cute 🙂
https://pixexid.com/image/the-shape-of-an-evergreen-tree-stands-out-alone-against-a-clean-linen-white-back-7bfqn70g

Trans exclusionary families are only one piece of a very painful pie that many share throughout this season. For some, holidays bring reminders of all the people that they’ve lost or can’t be with, for whatever reason. It can be hard to see others floating around in candy-cane colored bliss bubbles when your holiday plan only involves you, the couch, and a lonely bottle of Cook’s. American holidays have become the Season of Excess. While many are feeling sad and lonely while watching Hallmark films alone in the dark, others are constantly swamped with expectations and demands from their family, extended family, and their extended family’s dog. Even the weird uncle in the corner makes it known that if there are no deviled eggs present on the dinner table, he will have a certified breakdown. Often, the labor involved in shopping for groceries, making the meal, sending the invites, decorating the house, organizing the guests, and however many other logistical hurdles need to be jumped over, falls on the matriarch of the family. If not exclusively on the matriarch, then the matriarch and very few others are tasked with managing the needs of a big, diverse, complicated nebulous of people. Not only is this work expected, but around the holidays, this work and the home in which it takes place, becomes symbolic. The home and decoration of it become the visual representation of the family story and values that it holds.  

It’s me. I’m the uncle.
https://pixahive.com/photo/tray-of-eggs/

So how do we navigate all these challenges? How do we stay sane and if not enjoy, survive, the holiday season? Firstly, make sure to have an ally attending any event with you. If you are in a position like Vivian or feel like your identity and values will need to be hidden or interrogated, it can be helpful to have someone there whom you know will be on your side and have your back if things get tense. Additionally, it can be helpful to have an exit strategy, whether that’s a friend calling you with a fake emergency, or letting people know in advance that you’ll only be there for a set amount of time. Having an exit strategy and knowing that you can leave may make it easier to step into a space with reduced anxiety. As scary as the second piece of advice is, it may help to have some emotional conversations with family members. It may look like sharing your authentic feelings with only a select few family members, or only talking about safer subjects, but allowing someone to see your humanness and allowing yourself to see theirs can smooth some of the combative tension. If your holidays are being spent alone, for whatever reason, I’d say give yourself a gentle pass this year. If it’s grief or loneliness, make yourself your favorite meal, eat a whole pie, and let yourself cry if that’s what you need. Offering to volunteer at community buffets or outreach programs are an especially beneficial option to engage in loving company and actions. Lastly, I know this is a tricky one too, but you can ask others for help. Whether that’s delegating tasks, asking for affirmations and acknowledgements of appreciation, or asking to be a guest this year instead of hosting. Communication is key here, as with everywhere else.  

If you’ve made it to the end of this article, and you’re a certified Christmas super fan with the perfect holiday plans, I wish you nothing but joy this holiday season. Drink your hot cocoa, text your friends and family, check in, and make sure that they’re doing okay this time of year. Regardless of religion, holiday engagement, or family situation, we’re all just trying to make it through the dark, cold winter.  

The First Pride was a Riot

A photo of the Stonewall Inn during Pride Month 2018 from https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Stonewall_Inn_during_Pride_2018_(50126p).jpg

By Travis Gray 

The 1960s were monumental for civil rights, but one side of it isn’t really discussed in our history books: the fight for gay rights. Currently, there is legislation across the country trying to restrict the discussion of gender and sexuality in classrooms. This also limits being able to teach youth about an important facet of history, the history of the LGBTQ+ community. A monumental moment in the fight for gay rights took place at the Stonewall riots. Now, what were the Stonewall Riots? 

Throughout the 20th century, the civil rights movement in the USA was steadily building. Before the Stonewall Riots, there was another riot in 1966. It took place in San Francisco at Gene Compton’s Cafeteria and in an area that had been described by the news as “a hotbed for homosexuals and transvestites and a marketplace of vice, degradation and human misery.” In a 2005 documentary called Screaming Queens, trans and queer people were able to share their experiences with Compton’s. One described it as a home, where the queer people “took care of me like big sisters. They were just so sweet to me and to each other.” It was also shared that police violence was ever present; Collete LeGrande testified that she witnessed “a policeman drag a trans woman and beat her with a club” at Compton’s. The women in the film said that the cafeteria was a safe haven for queer and trans folk, to check in with each other. In 1966, while the exact date is unknown, a police officer put his hand on a woman and the fighting broke out. It ended that night with many people heading to jail, but not without doing some damage themselves – “a destroyed police car, a newsstand set on fire.” The queer people of Compton’s were fed up with the treatment they had been enduring, as the film revealed, they were being arrested for “for all kinds of “crimes”, including “female impersonation” and “obstructing the sidewalk.”. Currently, the area where this took place is trying to create a ‘trans district,’ you can read more here. 

Gender Equality in Politics

Protestors lining the street advocating for women’s rights. Image source: https://www.walesartsreview.org/womens-march-one-year-on-with-rhiannon-lucy-cosslett/

Women have always been subject to double standards on a daily basis, during social interactions, in the workplace, in religion, and even in school. In many aspects, sexism has been widely normalized with humor and media playing major roles in furthering this normalization.  Unfortunately, female politicians face the same double standards and criticisms on a much larger scale. Often, there is coverage from the media on female politicians that draws unwanted attention to topics unrelated to their professional careers. There is sexism within interactions with their peers, which can make being a politician extremely difficult. Our current Vice President, Kamala Harris, has faced criticism and double standards from by both her peers and the media. 

The most apparent double standard is the lack of representation for women in Congress, as the main legislative body, it is absolutely crucial to ensure each citizen feels represented within Congress. According to the Congressional Research Service, “As of January 28, 2022, 149 women are serving in the 117th Congress. There are 125 women serving in the House of Representatives…There are 24 women in the Senate,”. This is startling as roughly 167 million women live in the US compared to roughly 162 million men. With such an inadequate representation, it can cause issues surrounding women’s rights. The issue doesn’t end with Congress, it extends into the Supreme Court, presidencies, white house staff, etc. The US has made great progress with the recent election of a woman of color as Vice President, despite the difficulties Kamala Harris had while campaigning. 

Women Authors You Should Definitely Be Reading!

By Gladys Lemesurier

The school semester is almost over and for me, that means it’s almost time to dust off my pile of half-finished or unread books. This time of year is a perfect opportunity to pick up a new book. Maybe you’re looking for something to kill time on a long flight or maybe you just want to read something that isn’t a textbook or scholarly article. This is also a great chance to check out some awesome books written by women. In January of this year, Audible.com shared some of their favorite books—both classic and contemporary— written by women, and many other blogs have done the same. Now I’m here to give you my picks! Whether you’re looking for something magical, something historical, or just something light and fun, there will definitely be something here for you. 

Women in Haiti 2 Earthquakes Later

Haiti. The world’s first independent Black republic and one of the world’s most impoverished nations. Wrecked by the disastrous earthquake of 2010, Haiti has yet to recover from it. Women and girls have been left struggling more than ever in the aftermath of another 7 magnitude earthquake that occurred in August of this year. In the wake of political, social, and economic unrest, – the struggle of gender-based discrimination and violence gets even further pushed out of sight.  

When I think about the freedom women in the U.S. have today that is not available to women in Haiti, it’s disheartening. Even now, women are still fighting for complete autonomy and equality – this is a universal struggle. As a Haitian-American young woman, I find my heart divided between the grief of two nations. Everything I deal with now, women in Haiti struggle with even more.  

Reconnecting with Mother Nature

By Gladys Lemesurier

Sunset through the trees- my photo

One of my favorite things about visiting new places is finding spaces where nature flourishes, vibrant and breathtaking. Growing up in southern California, the idea of nature never immediately brought to mind images of forests or dense woods. Nature for me was the wide-open valleys and horizon built of jagged mountain tops. But no matter where I went, I was always struck by how powerful nature was and how I felt connected to it. Reading under a tree, watching ducks and geese on a pond, or just sitting in a park enjoying the atmosphere are all comforting to me. So it’s no surprise that the connection between women and nature is a popular topic among feminists and environmentalists.

Since 1974, this connection has been known as “ecofeminism,” a term coined by French feminist Françoise d’Eaubonne. Scholars before this had linked aspects of feminism with the environment, ephasizing how both are exploited and aggressively dominated. But this connection has always been present, even if it wasn’t often discussed. For instance, nature has many names like “Mother Nature” or “Mother Earth,” both of which are thought to stem from Greek mythology where Gaia–the first Greek goddess– created all life, and works to maintain harmony. 

Sexism in Dress Codes

Halloween is right around the corner and for a lot of people that means discussions of costumes and outfits have been the hot topic the last couple of weeks. Or maybe even months if you’re somewhere who likes to plan ahead. Whether you’re going to a costume party, hosting one yourself, taking a younger sibling trick-or-treating, or just dressing up for fun at home, Halloween costumes are a chance to have fun. Unfortunately, it is also a time of year when familiar derogatory comments begin to resurface, particularly about the types of costumes we wear. The concept of “sexy” costumes became popular in the 1970s when adults began celebrating Halloween again and gained even more traction during the era of “barely-there” fashion in the 90s. Women were actively embracing their sensuality and feeling sexy and powerful in an expressive and creative way. Because of this, women were and are still actively shamed because they’re viewed as provocative.

Shaming women for their clothing choices is nothing new. But if the shaming of “sexy” Halloween costumes is a relatively new topic, then where else is the shaming of women’s clothing prevalent? Why are women unable to express themselves how they want to with their clothing without being shamed for being inappropriate. One big reason that women’s clothing is frowned upon is because of dress codes that are strictly enforced while we’re in school. We’ve probably all heard the familiar narrative: school is a professional environment and you need to dress accordingly. Or something of that nature. But the nature of what was considered “professional” or appropriate seemed to get more and more ridiculous as I progressed through my K12 academic career. We were being taught from a very young age that our bodies were something that needed to be covered up. In short, the dress code harmed us in one extreme way: it contributed to the objectification of our bodies and changed how we viewed ourselves. 

You’re Being Too Loud

By Gladys Lemesurier

Image from Flickr by jzubire

On my thirteenth birthday, one gift from a relative consisted of a glittery pink tote full of eyeshadow, lipstick, and anything else a princess-in-training could ask for. But I had never shown an interest in makeup, and I didn’t intend to learn anything past applying simple eyeliner. Whenever I didn’t feel the need to put effort into applying a face full of makeup every day I was often met with greetings along the lines of “You look tired” or “Did you not sleep well?”

Women are often looked down on or criticized for not conforming to the standard of what a “put together” woman should look like. Often-time, this criticism comes in the form of concern from a friend or family member who has nothing but the best intentions. The idea of constantly looking presentable has even invaded professional spaces where young women seek the advice of strangers on internet forums asking if not wearing makeup to an interview will cost them a potential job. One Reddit user asked, “Should I risk no makeup?”, as if it was the sole factor deciding her employment. Unfortunately, this worry is not completely unfounded. A study discussed in a 2011 New York Times article found that women who wore makeup were seen as “more competent” than their barefaced counterparts.

Gender Inequality in Clothing

By Hailley Smart

Photo by Marco Verch

All clothes are not created equal. While you would think that the only difference between men’s and women’s clothing is the physical appearance of it, that just simply isn’t true. Clothing is meant to be a way to physically represent who we are, a symbol of our fights and struggles, and not a clear divide between the genders. Women’s fashion is held in a different opinion, made of cheaper materials, and is not designed with the needs of women in mind.

One of the first and most harmful ways in which female clothing is unequal is due to the public opinion and mindset of it. The female fashion industry is seen as superficial, and putting an emphasis on the clothing you wear is viewed as vain. And yet, not putting effort into looking the absolute best deems a woman a slacker, lazy, or simply unpretty. Feminist Naomi Wolf once wrote in her book The Beauty Myth that “The way we looked determined our value to society.” Those who dress in female marketed clothing are judged by whether or not they conform to how that garment should look. The public mindset of female clothing is predominately that a woman’s worth is intrinsically and unconsciously linked to her appearance. This is an opinion that is often reinforced by the media that we consume as a culture. How many shows have you seen where the female character spends an inordinate amount of time deciding what to wear? I bet if you stop to think about it, you’ll find yourself surprised by how many there are. But this does not hold true for male’s clothing. With the exception of high end fashion, the men’s fashion world is viewed as more acceptable. GQ, one of the world’s leading men’s fashion companies, claims in an article on the clothing price difference that “Men are thought to approach buying clothes with more pragmatism”. Whereas women’s clothing is viewed as a physical representation of their worth, men’s clothing is just clothing. And that’s not even digging into the issues of dress codes and the way they reflect on the clothing.

Sex as Power

By Kate Ringer

God is a woman.

Who knew four words could be so subversive, so controversial? With those four words, Ariana Grande changed her career, probably forever. These words show us that when it comes to power, especially the extreme power of a deity, gender matters. Gender really matters. You can’t just ignore gender when it comes to gods, artists, or U.S. presidents. Those roles are reserved for men, and when you dare to say otherwise, there will be backlash.

Michelangelo’s “The Creation of Adam”

Ariana Grande’s version

If you have yet to see the music video for “God is a Woman” by Ariana Grande, I would recommend taking a moment to view it at this link before you continue to read. This video is filled with imagery empowering to women. In my personal favorite part of the music video, Grande literally breaks the glass ceiling with a giant metal hammer. The video also alludes to many classic artworks, recreating them with Grande at the helm instead of a man. For example, the last shot of the video shows a new version of Michaelangelo’s The Creation of Adam. There is also a depiction of The Thinker by Rodin, in which Grande sits in the same posture as the thinking man while men throw gendered slurs at her, trying to tear her down. It is through these gender-reversed images that the viewer begins the realize how infrequently women are shown in positions of power historically. It is almost difficult to recognize how little representation there is until you are confronted with images that you have, amazingly, never seen before.

Rodin’s “The Thinker”

Grande’s version