A Passion For Learning: My Story

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By Lindsey Heflin

Hi readers! My name is Lindsey Heflin, and I am a junior at the University of Idaho majoring in Advertising and minoring in Professional Writing, Marketing, Art, and Aerospace Studies. I am involved in the UI Honors Program, Greek life, the Department of Student Involvement, the UI Advertising Team, the Vandal Reps Tour Guide crew and more! I am a bit of a busy bee, and while it’s often hard to stop myself from committing to another club or minor, my friends and family inform of me of the sad and unfortunate truth: I cannot do everything.

Part of the reason I book myself to the brim with classes, is because I truly have a passion for learning. I am no Einstein when it comes to my subjects, but as I think about the world we live in today, I can’t help but reflect on how lucky I am to receive an education and get the opportunity to freely learn in the college of my choosing.

Continue reading “A Passion For Learning: My Story”

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Marriage: A Beginning, Not an End

By: Madelyn Starritt

I started dating my first boyfriend when I was 17, got engaged when I was 19 and then married a year later. I am 22 now and will be celebrating my two year wedding anniversary in August. This might seem crazy or way too fast to some, but for me it was just right. Now, I am not some seasoned pro here to give unsolicited relationship advice. I am just a college girl who found love at a young age. I am here to share my experience about marrying young and how, contrary to popular belief, it has not destroyed my life.

Now I still have my whole life ahead of me so there is plenty of time for things to go sour but as of right now I don’t regret my decision to get hitched at 20. I think married life is great. It is not too much different from not being married even though every person asks us, “How does it feel?” and “How’s married life?” These are two questions my husband and I constantly got asked after we got married and even still now. It feels great to be married and I love it but honestly our lives didn’t change drastically after we said our vows. Some things did though.

Continue reading “Marriage: A Beginning, Not an End”

A Post-Heterosexual Vision of Love

 

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A comic about gender being performative

By Olivia Comstock

Every part of our lives is stereotyped and put into boxes – our class, our education, our gender, our sexuality, and our love. This is frustrating and wrong because love should be the most free, open, and genuine part of life. Instead, it is limited by strict normalized gender roles and heteronormativity. These place implied expectations and create assumptions based on one’s role as the man or the woman in the relationship. Because of this, the possibilities of what love can be are limited. Openness, comfort, and self-love on the individual level also create these characteristics in a relationship. However, these traits are stifled by what is considered “normal” and people’s attempts to conform to it. There is potential to expand the possibilities of how people love through looking at the queer community and through a vision of a post-heterosexual world. I acknowledge that this is a very broad topic. I am only going to do a brief survey of how I think queerness could help us move beyond the boundaries and institutions in place today, but I am aware of the infiniteness of this topic.

Continue reading “A Post-Heterosexual Vision of Love”

3 Poems

By Emily Alexander 

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Drawing of different people standing close to each other.

I have been struggling to figure out what to say about the election, and what kind of post I wanted to write for this week. There is so much hurt right now. I am one of the lucky ones, whose circumstances have put me in a place of relative privilege that allows me to search for and find love. So mostly I want to listen. For this post, I decided to share three of my poems; the first two are about the most important women in my life, and the last is a love poem. I am hoping that I am lucky enough to have this little bit of light, and to give it.
Continue reading “3 Poems”

Why More Millenial Feminists are Staying Single

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It is no secret that the feminist movement is gaining more followers each and every day. Something else that we cannot ignore is the growing number of women in the millennial generation who are choosing to stay single (this post focuses on women in the United States). I firmly believe that these two are interrelated. Through recent statistics, common logic, and personal experience, I would like to discuss how the feminist movement has had an impact on the number of single millennial women. Continue reading “Why More Millenial Feminists are Staying Single”

5 Things to Know Before Dating a Feminist

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As if the world doesn’t already judge women enough, we draw even more attention upon ourselves as feminists when it comes to being in romantic relationships. How can it be possible to be in a mindset of such extreme societal values and still be able to function with a partner? Well, that’s just it–ya can’t. Luckily, that is not what feminism is about. We want equality–not dominance, and this tends to work out great in dating and relationships.

I would be willing to put money on the idea that most realistic feminists who are in relationships experience higher levels of satisfaction than that of our non-feminist counterparts. We have different ideas about what a relationship should be which allows more room for creating positive energy. Continue reading “5 Things to Know Before Dating a Feminist”

The Rules of Men and Women

The codes of conduct for relations between the sexes can be paradoxical.  Depending on the perspective, they can appear as either insightful, healthy guidelines meant to assist and protect those who follow them, or arbitrary stipulations devised to benefit those advantaged by them.

Such confusion is deeply rooted.  Scientists and wordsmiths have told us that men and women have been fighting to get along since their spaceships crashed into each other en route to Earth from their respective planets.  Fortunately, Internet technology has helped solidify our ideas about sex and gender relations with commonly accepted lists of good behaviors and attitudes.  Whether written, spoken or understood, these have proven an effective way to keep people from throwing pink and blue space loofahs at one another.

Here are samples from two such online guides.  The first batch is from a list written by men, for women; the second batch is by women, for men.  Utilize these and other behaviors to construct a common framework of understanding, a helpful set of boxes in which to neatly fit all the confusing concepts in your dealings with one another.

Men’s Rules for Women

(See the full list.)

 1. “‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.”

Men generally prefer to be more direct, efficient and time-conscious than women.  They also aren’t usually practiced at either subtlety, or deception.  Women would do well to understand this communicative difference and learn to work within men’s limited conversational tendencies.

2. “Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.  In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.”

When a relational conflict arises, it is best to bypass the convoluted and distracting emotional, psychological and personal issues to address the circumstantial facts directly and at face value.  As we all know, memory is faulty and shaped by the aforementioned distracting elements.  Men’s minds are best fitted for focused, immediate problem-solving, and it is unhelpful to demand of them accountability for secondary details their biology predisposes them to forget.  You will more readily, and happily, resolve the matter if only the most important factors are considered.

3. “If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘Nothing,’ we will act like nothing’s wrong.  We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.”

Though men are ill practiced at subtlety, they can sense it from others, as a dog can smell a turkey cooking in the oven without being able to cook.  As a dog will wisely wait to nibble until the door is opened and its master extends a bit of meat clearly visible in her hand, so a wise man will wait to dialogue with a troubled woman until she invites him to do so with a clear explanation of her trouble.  Dogs lack the capacity to open doors, after all, and nobody likes to get burned sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong.

Women’s Rules for Men

(See the full list.)

 1. “My body is a temple, now get on your knees and pray.”

Women typically achieve a heightened sense of personal validation when they – and their bodies, particularly – are praised and emphasized by men to the exclusion of other priorities, and beyond what may seem reasonable proportions.  Some of the most influential literature and popular media bear this out (e.g. Greek mythology’s Aphrodite, “Cosmopolitan” magazine, reality television).  The higher the pedestal, the more value a woman ascribes to herself.  It behooves men to understand this principle and apply themselves to it with rigor, never distinguishing a woman’s self-worth from the attention and affection lavished upon her.

2. “51% love goddess 49% bitch.”

As Greek mythology has Aphrodite, so it has Athena.  Love and war are simply two faces of the same deity.  Men should never assume that a woman’s apparently unsavory or disagreeable behavior is anything out of the ordinary.  Under no circumstances are women to be directly confronted for such perceived negativity, or be expected to change or amend such, even as a frenzied lioness would never be stopped from tearing out a zebra’s throat.  The wise man doesn’t fight nature; he goes with the flow.

3. “Men are like hardwood floors, lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them forever.”

It is important to remember that relationships require two people to come together and fulfill one another’s needs.  An overemphasis on individual rights and selfish desires can undermine the give-and-take, the mutual trust so vital to success.  Women generally understand men’s needs better (at least, more readily) than men understand their own, so it is appropriate for men to allow women to shirk traditional gender expectations and take some initiative.  Once a man’s physical needs are met, his singular, problem-solving mind will be free of distraction to fulfill a woman’s relational needs.  A healthy couple is the same in romance as it is on the dance floor: there is a lead, there is a follow, and both parties know the necessary moves.

As women and men continue the battle for one another, codes and guidelines like the ones above can be a hand-up for higher ground.  And let us take heart from history (and her-story).  The fact that we’re still fighting shows that we’re not willing to surrender.  So press on, loofah lovers, and don’t fight dirty.