Hell’s Holiday

By Emily Reese 

Do you think Satan wraps presents this nicely?
https://www.plannthat.com/create-a-holidays-gift-guide/

It’s that time of year again. The car needs to be warmed up for 20 minutes before you can drive it and you shiver the whole time you take your dogs to the bathroom. At least the snow is pretty (when/if it ever comes). Of course, skiing and snowboarding are the saving grace of the winter season, given that you have the financial means to access these luxuries. Oh yeah, then there’s the holidays. If you’re into that sort of thing. I hate to sound like a Grinch, but the holidays are rather lackluster for me. I can really do without the Christmas songs playing everywhere the day after Thanksgiving and the pressure to spend hundreds of dollars on gifts for people you don’t really know. But more than that, the holidays can be especially tiresome and stressful for those who may not align ideologically with their family or those who carry out the majority of the tasks associated with the practices that occur during the holidays. Maybe some of you are still reeling from Thanksgiving, and with Christmas quickly approaching, it doesn’t seem like there’s much time available to recover and reflect. In this article, I’d like to explore some of the reasons why the holidays can be particularly draining and suggest some ways to mitigate some of the wintery burnout.  

Not even this tree is safe from my cats.
https://pixexid.com/image/a-minimalist-papercut-christmas-tree-made-of-green-construction-paper-stands-alo-06uv06u1

I can quickly think of a handful of cliché stressors that come from the holidays. Aunty Beth asking if you have a partner yet. Grampa Richard complaining about lazy youth and the disintegration of “good old fashioned American values.” Cousin Susan’s had too much wine and keeps pinching your cheeks, and there’s a weird uncle whom you barely know sulking in the corner. All under a haze of twinkly lights and the smell of icy pine. But other than the general awkwardness and social discomfort that some of us know so well, there are other experiences that are much more emotionally challenging. Such as the experience of a girl named Vivian, whose identity isn’t welcome in her family.  

“I came out as a trans woman to my family several months ago and I haven’t had a holiday with my extended family yet. I know my mom is coming around, but my dad isn’t, and no extended family knows. I’m worried about whether I’ll have to pretend to be a boy for a week or if I’ll even be welcome at all. I’m dreading constantly being misgendered and treated like the nephew grandson I always presented to them, rather than who I actually am. I’m dreading disguising myself just to make my family happy at my own expense.” 

Vivian

cute 🙂
https://pixexid.com/image/the-shape-of-an-evergreen-tree-stands-out-alone-against-a-clean-linen-white-back-7bfqn70g

Trans exclusionary families are only one piece of a very painful pie that many share throughout this season. For some, holidays bring reminders of all the people that they’ve lost or can’t be with, for whatever reason. It can be hard to see others floating around in candy-cane colored bliss bubbles when your holiday plan only involves you, the couch, and a lonely bottle of Cook’s. American holidays have become the Season of Excess. While many are feeling sad and lonely while watching Hallmark films alone in the dark, others are constantly swamped with expectations and demands from their family, extended family, and their extended family’s dog. Even the weird uncle in the corner makes it known that if there are no deviled eggs present on the dinner table, he will have a certified breakdown. Often, the labor involved in shopping for groceries, making the meal, sending the invites, decorating the house, organizing the guests, and however many other logistical hurdles need to be jumped over, falls on the matriarch of the family. If not exclusively on the matriarch, then the matriarch and very few others are tasked with managing the needs of a big, diverse, complicated nebulous of people. Not only is this work expected, but around the holidays, this work and the home in which it takes place, becomes symbolic. The home and decoration of it become the visual representation of the family story and values that it holds.  

It’s me. I’m the uncle.
https://pixahive.com/photo/tray-of-eggs/

So how do we navigate all these challenges? How do we stay sane and if not enjoy, survive, the holiday season? Firstly, make sure to have an ally attending any event with you. If you are in a position like Vivian or feel like your identity and values will need to be hidden or interrogated, it can be helpful to have someone there whom you know will be on your side and have your back if things get tense. Additionally, it can be helpful to have an exit strategy, whether that’s a friend calling you with a fake emergency, or letting people know in advance that you’ll only be there for a set amount of time. Having an exit strategy and knowing that you can leave may make it easier to step into a space with reduced anxiety. As scary as the second piece of advice is, it may help to have some emotional conversations with family members. It may look like sharing your authentic feelings with only a select few family members, or only talking about safer subjects, but allowing someone to see your humanness and allowing yourself to see theirs can smooth some of the combative tension. If your holidays are being spent alone, for whatever reason, I’d say give yourself a gentle pass this year. If it’s grief or loneliness, make yourself your favorite meal, eat a whole pie, and let yourself cry if that’s what you need. Offering to volunteer at community buffets or outreach programs are an especially beneficial option to engage in loving company and actions. Lastly, I know this is a tricky one too, but you can ask others for help. Whether that’s delegating tasks, asking for affirmations and acknowledgements of appreciation, or asking to be a guest this year instead of hosting. Communication is key here, as with everywhere else.  

If you’ve made it to the end of this article, and you’re a certified Christmas super fan with the perfect holiday plans, I wish you nothing but joy this holiday season. Drink your hot cocoa, text your friends and family, check in, and make sure that they’re doing okay this time of year. Regardless of religion, holiday engagement, or family situation, we’re all just trying to make it through the dark, cold winter.  

T*ts or GTFO

“T*ts Or Get the F*** Out” is a phrase used in chat rooms and online gaming to create a male-centered environment by requiring women to show their breasts or else be rejected from the space.

By Emily Reese

Why do people play video games? Get attached to fantasy worlds in movies and books? Is it the dissociation it provides from the realities of everyday life? The opportunity to engage in strategic mind games? Or a sense of power, control, and accomplishment? Perhaps one can find some semblance of oneself in the medium. A character can come to represent who we think we are, and who we aspire to be. More than generic attachment to fictional media, I want to talk about the media that has been designated as “nerdy”, the associative culture that has developed around it, and the resistance it has displayed to the feminist movement.

Nerd culture has not been totally immune to the broad cultural shifts we have seen in the last few decades. But I argue that it has been one of the spaces most resistant to the feminist movement. Nerd culture can be designated as a counterculture, one that runs in opposition to the dominant heteronormative social script that has been in place since this country’s inception. Nerd culture has been identified as a safe haven and a mechanism of validation for men who feel they do not fit the traditional archetype of masculinity. The nerd stereotype exemplifies this for us. When we hear the term “nerd,” we often think of a scrawny boy with intellectual prowess but lacking in physical dominance. The intellectual component of the nerd stereotype is important to note here, as knowledge becomes the currency with which one pays for power and control. Knowledge of “nerdy” subjects becomes a tool to verify and gatekeep nerd spaces to protect them from the infiltration of modern and dominant culture. Perhaps more than any other counterculture, nerds must prove their right to be accepted into nerd-dom. If they fail to successfully pass the tests, they are subjected to ridicule and emasculation from the community. Ironically, they are subjected to the same social repercussions that spurred the creation of nerd culture in the first place. Heteronormative oppressive tools are wielded within the nerd community, most painfully towards women.

JAVA (the drink or the code??)
https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/funny-1980s-computer-man-at-desk-with-coffee-gm617888224-107388401?phrase=nerd

We have established that nerds are typically pictured as male, in particular, men who fail to meet certain established criteria for successful stereotypical masculinity. The excessive subjugation of the feminine form in nerd culture and mediums, then, is compensatory, reactionary. The nerd clings to the subjugation, objectification, and sexualization of women to make up for perceived failures to meet the expectation laid out for them by the dominant culture. Because the subjugation, objectification and sexualization of women are also part of the dominant heteronormative script, the nerd can overstate these traits to reestablish their masculinity, to prove their ability to dominate and be partially re-accepted into mainstream ideology. This reliance on the subjugation of women to validate the masculine traits in nerd culture is the reason why the space has been chronically resistant to the feminist movement.

And this gendered exclusion is blatantly obvious. But because numerical evidence is important, I have included proof (nerds love things to be proven). Sonnet Robinson collected data from a survey of self-identified nerds in association with their MA degree from the University of Oregon.75% of respondents reported that a sexy or sexualized appearance was the most prominent aspect of women’s representation in nerd media. 82% of participants had experienced a gender-based insult when participating in nerd media. Another study conducted in 2012 by researchers Jeffery Kuznekoff and Lindsey Rose, examined gamers’ reactions to different voices on Xbox Live. It showed that a female voice provoked three times the rate of negative comments compared to a male voice or no voice, regardless of the skill of the player. In Robinsons study, the most common adjectives used to describe female characterizations in nerd media were “sexy,” used in 75% of responses, “overly sexualized,” comprising 63% of responses, and “objectified,” used 58% of the time. The most common roles that female characters occupied were “damsel in distress,” “sidekick,” and “women in the refrigerator.” The latter role is a common occurrence where the woman is killed off to provide motivation for the male protagonist. One participant wrote that “it feels as though as long as we do not open our mouths too much, we’re okay. As soon as we express opinions, then there’s a problem.” This quote exemplifies the enforced expectation that women may exists only as objects in nerd spaces. If you are going to sit there quietly to be gawked at, then you may stay, but heaven forbid you have any thoughts or opinions.

https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/confused-and-bored-office-worker-gm499655768-80356707?phrase=nerd
Hello sir, we have called to talk about your sexist extended warranty.

And even after all of the attempted exclusion, policing of commentary, and sexual harassment reported in the nerd community, women and girls make up 45% of all video game players and 40% of comic book fans, 40% of the attendees at Comic-Con in 2012 and 2013, the most famous nerd convention, and recently, women were the majority attendees at another famous convention, Emerald City Comicon. I have hope that as we continue to analyze and deconstruct our societal pillars, that nerd culture fully embraces the feminist movement. We can already see sub communities in the nerd-dom establishing themselves as safes spaces for all identities. We hope that the sub communities continue to grow, in the name of acceptance for all.

Spooky Sex Ed

By Emily Reese

https://www.freepik.com/free-photos-vectors/sexing/17

As we delve into spooky season, it is important to talk about one of the scariest components of our country; the lack of sex education. As of 2020, 29 states and the District of Columba mandate sex education in middle or high school. While I am glad that over half of the states in this country at least partially comprehend the importance of age-appropriate sexual education, that still leaves thousands of children in the remaining 21 states missing out on vital guidance on how to navigate the development and  practice of sexual encounters and what is means to be ethical and safe in sexual and romantic spaces. In this article, I will briefly cover some of the current requirements (and lack thereof) that are state mandated, the unfortunate statistics that could be correlated with our current state of sexual education, and some topics and concepts to reform and include in what we think of when we consider sexual education.  

‘Till Death Do Us Work

By Emily Reese 

Who reading this has not felt pressure to perform professionally or academically? I genuinely want to know. I have yet to meet anyone in my life who can say that the limitations of their socioeconomic status do not strain them, yet to meet anyone who doesn’t feel that their worth and safety aren’t intrinsically tied to their professional productivity. In the economy that we live in, money is the means through which you access healthcare, nourishing food, clean water, and other vital resources. And it seems that the exchange rate between time given, and resources received just keeps getting wider and wider.  There’s no arguing that we live in a society with an intense capitalistic drive. So how are we to resist grind culture and find the time to rest that we so desperately need, while keeping ourselves housed and fed, to keep ourselves happy and healthy? This paradox brings to mind Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, wherein we can only work on the “loftier” goals of life, like love, self-esteem, and contentedness, if all our physiological and safety needs are met.  

https://www.yakimaherald.com/news/nation_and_world/business/extra-snap-benefits-ending-9-ways-to-save-on-food/article_7ae8d6c7-3565-56b7-b0f2-20fc8e662a96.html

Flannel Wrapped Social Dynamics

By Emily Reese

As the leaves start to turn warm, auburn hues, culture, too, shifts with the seasons. The social markers that have come to indicate fall has arrived. Streaming services are starting to release their annual Halloween features, Starbucks has ushered back in the pumpkin spice flavors, and cozy aesthetics are sliding though social media feeds. It is an interesting thing in and of itself, the cultural tones and how they shift with the seasons, but specifically, I’d like to focus on the phenomenon known as “Christian Girl Autumn.” Picture candles, skinny jeans, curled chestnut hair under knit beanies. Beige designer handbags and coffee, tea, apple cider. Pumpkiny , cinnamony, cozy aesthetics. Picture massive entry ways with styled gourds and wreaths. Modest, chic, minimalist outfits, with neutral tones and vanilla scented perfume.  This is the Christian Girl Autumn aesthetic.  

Sweater? Check. Flannel Scarf? Check. Coffee? Check?

To understand Christian Girl Autumn, we first need to understand “Hot Girl Summer.” Megan Thee Stallion released a song with the title “Hot Girl Summer” in 2019.  The rap song switches the traditional roles of a heteronormative relationship, with the man being the most sexually driven and unattached emotionally, while the woman tries to tie him down and establish monogamy. The song inspired many women to step into a position of power and self-reliance during their ‘hot girl summers’, ushering in a season of meeting one’s own needs and nourishing seeds of confidence. But summer can never stay, even hot girl summers. Knowing this, Isabella Markel (Twitter and TikTok content creator) created a silly meme claiming that “Hot Girl Summer is over. Get ready for Christian Girl Autumn.” The meme features an older picture of two other content creators, Emily Gemma, and Caitlin Covington. Gemma and Covington are dressed in classic fall attire, ankle boots, flannel scarves, big hats. Everything is colored coded in tones of browns and oranges. The internet went wild. Some people adored the Christian Girl Autumn aesthetic and felt it wholeheartedly represented them. But for others, the Christian Girl Autumn memes became a way to address larger social dynamics.  

Suicide Awareness Week

By Emily Reese

Content warning. Discussion of Suicide 

On average, in the United States, there are 132 suicides a day. That’s a scary number. And what’s scarier is that of suicide in America have been steadily rising since 2012. We talk about this now as this week is Suicide Awareness Week. Although it can be hard to address these topics, the numbers show that the mental health of this country and its inhabitants is no longer something that can be swept under the rug. It is necessary to shine light in these dark places, to illuminate other solutions and establish communities where people feel safe enough to disclose these very personal feelings. In this post, I will share some facts related to gender and suicide and speculate on why the numbers might show up in the way they do. Then, I will cover some brief guidelines that stand to serve as a jumping off point for those who strive to work towards suicide prevention. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, I will wrap up with a few resources both at the University of Idaho and otherwise.  

Often times, people struggling with suicidal ideations feel alone, and in the dark.

Thankfully, I got to interview Amanda Ferstead, with Vandal Health Education. As informative as she was kind, it was not only illuminating but inspiring to connect with her. I open with a very important quote from her: “Suicide does not discriminate.” While we learn about the numbers associated with suicide, it is important to remember that those feelings can affect anyone, regardless of class, gender, or race. The last thing we want to do is further gatekeep whose narratives get to see the light of day and who we belittle when they come forward about their experiences.  We do know that there seems to be a difference in the way that suicidal ideations translate to behavior between those who present as male versus those who present as female. I apologize that the studies I found did not look into the statistics of nonbinary folks. Research into suicide, like many other health topics, is frustratingly cisnormative. I certainly don’t mean to leave them out of the discussion. We do know that women tend to choose less lethal and slower methods, while men tend to choose quicker, more lethal methods. I speculate that this discrepancy is a manifestation of the ways we encourage men and women to ask for help and speak about their pain. For men specifically, as a society we have not encouraged vulnerability. We do not provide men with the language to let others know their pain, to know their fears, to know their shame. Men are told to bottle it up, push forward. “Be a man,” “get over it.” Men account for 76% of suicides in America. We can no longer ask these men to rub dirt in their wounds and move on. We need to decouple the ideas of masculinity and stoicism . It is okay to ask for help. It is okay to let people in.

Read more: Suicide Awareness Week

Thankfully, the research also tells us that there are steps that we can take, and “recovery is the norm” (Ferstead). Most of the time, when we discuss suicide, the narrative revolves around “sad, shock and trauma” (Ferstead). While we are not trying to be toxically positive, we see the benefits of framing the narrative with “help, hope, and strength” (Ferstead). It is true that life can be hard. Your feelings of pain are valid. And it is also true that the world is beautiful, and people can be kind, and life can be worth living. Another helpful tool for suicide prevention can simply be to ask people outright, “Are you feeling suicidal?” For those struggling to disclose such a heavy load, sometimes an invitation to share can make that unpacking feel a little easier. Not only do we need to be better at asking this question, but we also need to be better at talking about the nitty gritty of mental health in general.  

“Recovery is the norm” – Amanda Ferstead

The University of Idaho has many different programs in place to mitigate the harmful effects of mental health. This week especially, there are many different programs going on. I have attached a flier below. Please be aware that the showings of “Every Brilliant Thing” are free, and there will be an opportunity to discuss the film after the Saturday showing. Make sure to reserve your tickets though! Outside of this week, there are programs like the student-led Wellness Ambassador program and the QPR (Question, Persuade, Refer) training. While there are set dates for the QPR training listed on the Vandal Health Education website, the training is available by request if none of them work out with your established schedule. Additionally, the Counseling and Testing Center on campus has been a great help to me and others I know.  

Outside of the University, the nationwide Suicide Lifeline can be reached by dialing “988.” If you or anyone you know is struggling with suicidal ideations or feelings of helplessness, please feel free to call the number.  

Stay safe.  

Be Well.  

Feather Boa Feminism

By Emily Reese

Etsi Bravo was packed. I don’t know that I have ever seen that many people in the building before. The music was loud, and the people were beautiful. Orangey-pink hues made the scene look rosy and warm. It was a special night. Tonight was Burlesque Night. Etsi Bravo (a dance club) and Cheri Amour (a lingerie and lounge wear boutique), both in downtown Pullman, collaborated this past Saturday night. With special cocktails and a wonderful performance by Jovie DeVoe, the night was absolutely one to remember. But where did the inspiration come from? How did we get burlesque? In this article, I will go over a brief history of burlesque and the special characteristics of its performance style that makes it such a powerful social commentator.

A burlesque performer
Image source: wallpaperflare.com

Burlesque’s specific style of performance can be traced back to the 1840s. Designed to poke fun and exaggerate the behaviors and norms of the upper class, burlesque became the coping narrative of the underprivileged and oppressed. Its tell-tale style evolved out of campy exaggerations of more “elevated” forms of entertainment, like the opera. Scantily-clad women found acceptance in these circles, where they would have been shunned and condemned by “proper society.” Between the 1840s and early 1900s, burlesque went through varying waves of popularity. However, it hits it seeming final stride in the 1920s. World War I had ended, women had the right to vote, and the American economy was flourishing. Women found power and financial prosperity on the burlesque circuit. They became celebrities of sorts. Legal loopholes were jumped through by burlesque managers to keep the signature sensual nature of the performance while avoiding being shut down for nudity, which was illegal at the time.

Burlesque turns social norms head over heels.

New World Encyclopedia

Hello, Fall 2023

By Emily Reese

A warm sunset welcomes students back. PC: the author

Welcome back, students. My name is Emily Reese, and I am excited to be a part of the Women’s Center officially this year, although I have often felt a part of the Women’s Center in principle and ideology through my first years here. My pronouns are whatever you feel like calling me. She/her, they/them, and he/him all resonate in different parts of my soul. As I come to the end of my bachelor’s in philosophy, I hope to use that philosophical lens to analyze and illuminate some popular works of literature and cinema. I feel Barbie is an obvious must. It’s playing September 1 through 4 at the Kenworthy Performing Arts Centre in downtown Moscow, if anyone is interested. “The Handmaiden” and “Mother” are also on Kenworthy’s roster and seem to have plenty of writing folly and entertainment potential. In addition to external excursions, I hope to attend many of the Women’s Center’s upcoming events. I am especially excited to attend and cover the “Take Back the Night” Rally and March on September 13^th.

Read more: Hello, Fall 2023

 After my bachelor’s is completed, I plan on getting my master’s in public administration from the University of Idaho. Perhaps a Bachelors in philosophy will follow from another institution. Then, after I can pay off at least a good portion of my student loans, my PhD in Philosophy is the end goal, as one day I hope to be a professor. I have never felt more at home than in my philosophy classrooms. Although they have often challenged me, they have never felt unwelcoming, or uninteresting, from Symbolic Logic to the Philosophy of Alcohol.  I only wish I could have brought one of my pets into the classroom. Sometimes I feel like I have a whole circus in an apartment. I have three dogs, and two cats. It’s the animal’s world, really. I’m just living in it.

My cat Ferguson cosplaying as Batman. PC: the author

I hope in me you can find a sense of empathy and understanding. I hope in you, readers, that I can find sounding boards and receptive companions. I look forward to practicing my ability to be vulnerable and open with you all as we spend this semester together. I wish the best for you all this semester. Cheers, Peers!

Signing Off!

By Bradi DuGal

Photo of the author with their cat

As the 2023 spring semester here at the University of Idaho comes to a close, so does my time writing for the Women’s Center Blog, unfortunately. In this final post, I’d like to take a moment to reflect on my experiences here and the content I produced, as well as the wonderful people I met and had the opportunity to work with and alongside this semester.

First and foremost, getting to work under Lysa Salsbury, Director of the Women’s Center and blog supervisor/instructor, was one of the most beneficial and memorable aspects of this experience for me by far. She was compassionate, understanding, and supportive; she was also great to bounce ideas off of for potential blog topics, and continuously uplifted me and my writing/ideas week after week. I absolutely couldn’t have accomplished most of what I did during my time here had I not had her encouragement and supervision.

Killing Eve’s Fall From Grace (Spoilers Ahead)

By Bradi DuGal

Photo of the River Thames in London, England. Image sourced from Unsplash.

Though it’s been a little over a year since the final episode of BBC Studios’ Killing Eve aired on AMC+, disappointment in how it was handled continues to frustrate many fans of the show, including me. With a whopping 30% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes and a handful of Change.org petitions demanding a rewrite of the ending, it’s safe to say that the finale of the once beloved show not only fell quite short of expectations, but that it flat out failed, despite having the set-up for a decent ending (from the book series on which the show is based, written by Luke Jennings).

For anyone unfamiliar with the series, Killing Eve is, at its core, the archetypal “will they, won’t they?” between two women; a MI6 agent obsessed with hunting down a female assassin (Eve), and the assassin herself (Villanelle). Over the course of the show, we watch them grow closer, even despite their rivalry, and continue to seek each other out. And though we don’t see them share an onscreen kiss until the third episode of season three, the drawn-out story about love and obsession and tension feels real. The pacing is natural.