Hell’s Holiday

By Emily Reese 

Do you think Satan wraps presents this nicely?
https://www.plannthat.com/create-a-holidays-gift-guide/

It’s that time of year again. The car needs to be warmed up for 20 minutes before you can drive it and you shiver the whole time you take your dogs to the bathroom. At least the snow is pretty (when/if it ever comes). Of course, skiing and snowboarding are the saving grace of the winter season, given that you have the financial means to access these luxuries. Oh yeah, then there’s the holidays. If you’re into that sort of thing. I hate to sound like a Grinch, but the holidays are rather lackluster for me. I can really do without the Christmas songs playing everywhere the day after Thanksgiving and the pressure to spend hundreds of dollars on gifts for people you don’t really know. But more than that, the holidays can be especially tiresome and stressful for those who may not align ideologically with their family or those who carry out the majority of the tasks associated with the practices that occur during the holidays. Maybe some of you are still reeling from Thanksgiving, and with Christmas quickly approaching, it doesn’t seem like there’s much time available to recover and reflect. In this article, I’d like to explore some of the reasons why the holidays can be particularly draining and suggest some ways to mitigate some of the wintery burnout.  

Not even this tree is safe from my cats.
https://pixexid.com/image/a-minimalist-papercut-christmas-tree-made-of-green-construction-paper-stands-alo-06uv06u1

I can quickly think of a handful of cliché stressors that come from the holidays. Aunty Beth asking if you have a partner yet. Grampa Richard complaining about lazy youth and the disintegration of “good old fashioned American values.” Cousin Susan’s had too much wine and keeps pinching your cheeks, and there’s a weird uncle whom you barely know sulking in the corner. All under a haze of twinkly lights and the smell of icy pine. But other than the general awkwardness and social discomfort that some of us know so well, there are other experiences that are much more emotionally challenging. Such as the experience of a girl named Vivian, whose identity isn’t welcome in her family.  

“I came out as a trans woman to my family several months ago and I haven’t had a holiday with my extended family yet. I know my mom is coming around, but my dad isn’t, and no extended family knows. I’m worried about whether I’ll have to pretend to be a boy for a week or if I’ll even be welcome at all. I’m dreading constantly being misgendered and treated like the nephew grandson I always presented to them, rather than who I actually am. I’m dreading disguising myself just to make my family happy at my own expense.” 

Vivian

cute 🙂
https://pixexid.com/image/the-shape-of-an-evergreen-tree-stands-out-alone-against-a-clean-linen-white-back-7bfqn70g

Trans exclusionary families are only one piece of a very painful pie that many share throughout this season. For some, holidays bring reminders of all the people that they’ve lost or can’t be with, for whatever reason. It can be hard to see others floating around in candy-cane colored bliss bubbles when your holiday plan only involves you, the couch, and a lonely bottle of Cook’s. American holidays have become the Season of Excess. While many are feeling sad and lonely while watching Hallmark films alone in the dark, others are constantly swamped with expectations and demands from their family, extended family, and their extended family’s dog. Even the weird uncle in the corner makes it known that if there are no deviled eggs present on the dinner table, he will have a certified breakdown. Often, the labor involved in shopping for groceries, making the meal, sending the invites, decorating the house, organizing the guests, and however many other logistical hurdles need to be jumped over, falls on the matriarch of the family. If not exclusively on the matriarch, then the matriarch and very few others are tasked with managing the needs of a big, diverse, complicated nebulous of people. Not only is this work expected, but around the holidays, this work and the home in which it takes place, becomes symbolic. The home and decoration of it become the visual representation of the family story and values that it holds.  

It’s me. I’m the uncle.
https://pixahive.com/photo/tray-of-eggs/

So how do we navigate all these challenges? How do we stay sane and if not enjoy, survive, the holiday season? Firstly, make sure to have an ally attending any event with you. If you are in a position like Vivian or feel like your identity and values will need to be hidden or interrogated, it can be helpful to have someone there whom you know will be on your side and have your back if things get tense. Additionally, it can be helpful to have an exit strategy, whether that’s a friend calling you with a fake emergency, or letting people know in advance that you’ll only be there for a set amount of time. Having an exit strategy and knowing that you can leave may make it easier to step into a space with reduced anxiety. As scary as the second piece of advice is, it may help to have some emotional conversations with family members. It may look like sharing your authentic feelings with only a select few family members, or only talking about safer subjects, but allowing someone to see your humanness and allowing yourself to see theirs can smooth some of the combative tension. If your holidays are being spent alone, for whatever reason, I’d say give yourself a gentle pass this year. If it’s grief or loneliness, make yourself your favorite meal, eat a whole pie, and let yourself cry if that’s what you need. Offering to volunteer at community buffets or outreach programs are an especially beneficial option to engage in loving company and actions. Lastly, I know this is a tricky one too, but you can ask others for help. Whether that’s delegating tasks, asking for affirmations and acknowledgements of appreciation, or asking to be a guest this year instead of hosting. Communication is key here, as with everywhere else.  

If you’ve made it to the end of this article, and you’re a certified Christmas super fan with the perfect holiday plans, I wish you nothing but joy this holiday season. Drink your hot cocoa, text your friends and family, check in, and make sure that they’re doing okay this time of year. Regardless of religion, holiday engagement, or family situation, we’re all just trying to make it through the dark, cold winter.  

Celebrating Women’s History Month

By Olivia Andersen

Photo of author Olivia Andersen with her mother

Throughout March, we celebrate Women’s History Month by honoring women’s contributions to history and contemporary society. Once a local celebration, Women’s History Month is now recognized as a national month of observation by presidential proclamation.  Throughout this month, we encourage the recognition of women, past and present, who have devoted their lives to supporting women’s rights.

The idea of Women’s History Month traces back to the first International Women’s Day in 1911. The holiday would later be forgotten in the U.S. until the late 1960s, when an activist known as Laura X organized a protest on March 8^th, 1969, in Berkeley, CA, on International Women’s Day. Laura X founded the Women’s History Research Center in 1968, connecting women throughout the United States in the hope of reviving International Women’s Day. By 1970, the research center had become well-known through early feminist publications, presenting research-based writing on women’s views and making it available nationwide. Laura X inspired women to protest nationwide and later became a Women’s Institute for Freedom of the Press associate. This organization increases communication between women and the public with women-based media. Laura X would continue to dedicate her work to supporting women in leading successful campaigns across America.

Discover which type of meditation works for you

By Olivia Andersen

Photo by Lucas Pezeta on Pexels.com

As students, day-to-day life can be hard with the demands on our time and minds; allowing ourselves the time we need takes effort. Taking time to channel your thoughts on something can benefit you in many ways. Through meditation, we can connect better with our bodies, creating a more vital awareness of our emotions and surroundings. Meditating has been used for thousands of years; many spiritual traditions include meditation as a part of their teachings and practices; the technique itself doesn’t belong to any particular religion or faith. Training your mind to focus and redirect your thoughts sharpens focus and attention, connecting the body and breath. This form of self-care can help us regulate difficult emotions, reduce stress, and improve health. Through different practices of meditation, you can discover which type works best with your feelings and which can bring value to your daily life.

Mindfulness meditation is one of the most popular forms of meditation, originating from Buddhist teachings of practicing mindfulness. The mental training practice teaches you to slow down and let go of negativity, calming your mind and body. Entering the mental state involves being entirely focused on “the now” so you can acknowledge and accepts your thoughts and feelings. This practice combines concentration with awareness, connecting to deeper emotions to seek clarity. Practicing mindfulness is easy; find a quiet and comfortable place to relax. Begin with a short 5-minute meditation session and increase your sessions each time. Focus on breathing and becoming comfortable with your thoughts; the goal is to observe where your mind goes without judgment. Getting into this state may be difficult for some people, but downloading an app or a YouTube video can help get emotions centered. The “Mindfulness Movement” offers ten guided meditations from powerful women worldwide. Their goal is to celebrate women by sharing guided meditations reflecting on what they have learned and taught throughout the years. Regularly practicing mindfulness meditation has many benefits for physical and mental health,  such as reducing stress, lowering heart rate, improving immunity, getting better sleep, and increasing activity. Bringing mindfulness into everyday life can seem intimidating, but it’s important to remember that even a few minutes each day can be beneficial.

Gender Equality in Politics

Protestors lining the street advocating for women’s rights. Image source: https://www.walesartsreview.org/womens-march-one-year-on-with-rhiannon-lucy-cosslett/

Women have always been subject to double standards on a daily basis, during social interactions, in the workplace, in religion, and even in school. In many aspects, sexism has been widely normalized with humor and media playing major roles in furthering this normalization.  Unfortunately, female politicians face the same double standards and criticisms on a much larger scale. Often, there is coverage from the media on female politicians that draws unwanted attention to topics unrelated to their professional careers. There is sexism within interactions with their peers, which can make being a politician extremely difficult. Our current Vice President, Kamala Harris, has faced criticism and double standards from by both her peers and the media. 

The most apparent double standard is the lack of representation for women in Congress, as the main legislative body, it is absolutely crucial to ensure each citizen feels represented within Congress. According to the Congressional Research Service, “As of January 28, 2022, 149 women are serving in the 117th Congress. There are 125 women serving in the House of Representatives…There are 24 women in the Senate,”. This is startling as roughly 167 million women live in the US compared to roughly 162 million men. With such an inadequate representation, it can cause issues surrounding women’s rights. The issue doesn’t end with Congress, it extends into the Supreme Court, presidencies, white house staff, etc. The US has made great progress with the recent election of a woman of color as Vice President, despite the difficulties Kamala Harris had while campaigning. 

Unforgettable Legacy

By Lindsey Neale

Sandra Day O’Connor being sworn in to the Supreme Court by Chief Justice Warren Burger with her husband John O’Connor. Image source: https://nara.getarchive.net/media/photograph-of-sandra-day-oconnor-being-sworn-in-a-supreme-court-justice-by-3cc561

With the announcement of Justice Stephen Breyre’s retirement, it opens up a new possibility for a female Justice to be appointed to the Supreme Court. I feel that it is important to discuss the first woman, Sandra Day O’ Connor and remember her legacy as we await the announcement of Justice Breyer’s successor. O’ Connor once said, “The destiny of the woman must be shaped to a large extent on her own conception of her spiritual imperative and her place in society”. O’ Connor strove to achieve her dreams and became an inspiration to women all over the nation. Her hard work created the perfect path that allowed many women to follow in her remarkable footsteps. Her legacy extends beyond her time in the Supreme Court, many find inspiration in her upbringing and her actions during her retirement. O’ Connor understood her place in history, and so she made all decisions carefully and precisely in order to allow more women to become involved in politics.
Women’s involvement in United States politics has been a long, uphill battle. Dating back to 1920, when women first gained the right to vote, women have been striving to achieve higher positions in politics. Julia Maruszewski published a timeline of women’s achievement in politics, from the first woman being elected to Congress, to swearing in a female vice president. O’Connor symbolized a huge breakthrough for the feminist movement by being the first woman Supreme Court Justice in 191 years. This meant that O’Connor faced great criticism and she was keenly aware of the historical significance of her position.

From Girlhood to Womanhood

Having just turned 23, I continue to ponder what it means to be at this stage of my life. What has my transition from girl to young woman been like? What is still in store and how can I continue to cultivate and remember this journey into womanhood? I realize that this transition isn’t something I’ve formally been prepared for. There are times when I feel mature beyond my years and naïvely adult. I’ve watched my rooms change over the years, my clothing preferences, and my taste in literature expand into more intimate and serious topics. Trying to define where my girlhood ends, and womanhood begins fills me with conflicting feelings. Is this growth private or something that can be evaluated? Perhaps there is no real preparation past puberty – you just grow up, learn to take change in stride.

From pexels.com

As with all great periods of change, there is a feeling of loss that comes over me when I think of the years I left behind. While there is reason to be proud of getting older, I draw my focus towards objects, memories, people, and places that have defined this transition. Some of these aspects are universal, but stories of women and girls as individuals are diverse and complex because there are many ways to be a woman, despite what society narrates. For some, growing up means facing reality. This could be moving out of one’s childhood home, a relationship, the loss of a loved one, starting birth control, or even just starting menstruation. Personally, I’ve grounded my transitions in my identity and sense of self. I felt like a woman when I started to understand the complicated emotions shown by my parents and how they reflected within me. I realized that as I was getting older, I had new thoughts and opinions emerge. Asking myself questions about whether I’d want to be a wife and mother someday, what sort of career I wanted and how to navigate those expectations through the lenses of society and my parents.

My father often told me that being a woman of color in Journalism would not be easy. So, I had another facet to consider about womanhood – the color of my skin. If being Black has made me less of a person, does having my skin make me less of a woman by default? Growing up, women are told they can do and be anything, but always within the confines of sexist restraints and double standards. I want to believe that womanhood is an ongoing and beautiful adventure. The characteristics that describe a woman can be stereotyped when it comes to personality. Traits like sensitivity, tenderness, helpful, and nurturing have been linked to what defines the “typical” woman.  But this definition of femininity is sometimes linked with sexual objectification and how forward or passive a woman is or “should be.” Down to the clothes we wear, whether “tomboy” or “girly,” there are endless ways to define being a woman. The lists can be biased towards traditional ideals that sadly have not yet been done away with. I do not believe that the traits listed define a woman poorly, but rather, society has curated a particular image of how to exhibit each trait. As part of my growth into womanhood, I find that my empathy gives me resilience, my sensitivity fosters deep understanding, and intuition, which in turn give way to patience and creativity in my words and actions. The clothes I wear showcase my version of my own beauty and allow me to express the nuances that make me who I am.

young woman of color from pexels.com

I do agree that most women I have met tend to be more in-tuned with their emotions, myself included. However, gender socialization also plays a major role in the stereotypes embedded in modern culture. What is expected of women and men has been instilled since childhood for many people. It involves teaching children to behave under an umbrella of beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors associated with their gender. As time goes on, girls learn to behave in a docile or modest way and are often expected to be more emotional due to their hormone fluctuations. Boys, on the other hand, can often be taught to suppress their emotional sides in effort to look strong, capable, and masculine. That said, many of the personality traits we see among young men and women are often apart the gender conditioning that occurs well into adolescence.

The journey to womanhood is rooted in the sum of my experiences and how they form a sense of self. Self-concept is the perception of behaviour, abilities, traits, and overall personality. As I grew up, my interests and thought patterns began to shape the girl I was growing into. As I age, I continue to learn what’s important to me, what virtues and characteristics I want to embody within the framework of a woman that has been provided by society, my spiritual beliefs, and female figures in my life. This collection of internal conditions lays the foundation for the experiences that will follow. There is no single way to be a woman, but I do believe that all women are unique in the way that we process emotions and make use of our intellect. One is not better than the other and that is the beauty of being human; of growing in my own way from girl to woman. I do not want to despise my bifurcated self; I will not choose whether I am strong or kind. There are no parts of me that are useless, no matter how society views them. The stereotypical traits of women do not represent the fullness of womanhood, and with this in mind, as I get older, I can learn to be content with the version of me that is both strong and tender, or sensitive and assertive. 

There isn’t a time of preparation for the changes from girl, to adolescent, to young woman. Cultivating my own journey of growing up and defining who I am as a woman is what will go towards the breaking down of social expectations for girls and women. No one can tell us who we ought to be, a sense of self is formed inside of us long after we have left our parents and living communities behind. I want to remember my transitions as they were. To join all the woman who have come before me in the frightening, yet fulfilling, path to growth. Nurturing the freedom to be the strongest woman I can be by the standards of my own personal beliefs.

Recognizing Weaponized Incompetence

By Gladys Lemesurier

Image from Flickr by John

The vastness of the internet gives us all access to more information than we’ll ever know what to do with. Those of us that experienced the introduction of technology during our childhoods can’t imagine living in a time before Google was readily available at our fingertips. Having constant access to anything and everything you can think of might sound like a negative thing, and at times it can be a bit much. But it also allows us to learn about things we might not otherwise. In the case of social media, we can learn things about ourselves and other people. The popular video-sharing platform, TikTok, has recently become a popular place for all kinds of advice, though the most noticeable is the increase in relationship advice and how to identify toxic traits in partners.

Most social media platforms focus on presenting perfectly manicured versions of our lives. We post our best days on Instagram and Facebook, often not sharing the reality of those moments. But TikTok has proven itself different as a social media platform with its large number of creators dedicated to exposing the real parts of life and relationships. One thing that I learned about fairly recently on TikTok is the idea of weaponized incompetence. Though the term first showed up in 2007, it’s not really a new thing. 

The Princess Effect

By Gladys Lemesurier

Image from Flickr by rudjard

What do you think of when you hear the word “princess”? Maybe you thought of fairy tales or enchanted forests. Was it maybe talking animals or singing? Or maybe I’ve already swayed your opinion with the picture I used, and you thought about Disney. Maybe you would have thought about Disney anyway. After all, Disney Princesses have been a part of our culture since the release of Snow White in 1937. However, not very many people know that there was a princess before Snow White. Though Snow White was Disney’s first full-length movie, the short film The Goddess of Spring (1934) featured the story of Persephone and served as a test run for the first “official” Disney Princess. Since then, princess stories have been loved by both children and adults alike. These stories and the culture they’ve inspired are beautiful and magical. Unfortunately, we’ve found that even fun things like these can have negative effects.

Reconnecting with Mother Nature

By Gladys Lemesurier

Sunset through the trees- my photo

One of my favorite things about visiting new places is finding spaces where nature flourishes, vibrant and breathtaking. Growing up in southern California, the idea of nature never immediately brought to mind images of forests or dense woods. Nature for me was the wide-open valleys and horizon built of jagged mountain tops. But no matter where I went, I was always struck by how powerful nature was and how I felt connected to it. Reading under a tree, watching ducks and geese on a pond, or just sitting in a park enjoying the atmosphere are all comforting to me. So it’s no surprise that the connection between women and nature is a popular topic among feminists and environmentalists.

Since 1974, this connection has been known as “ecofeminism,” a term coined by French feminist Françoise d’Eaubonne. Scholars before this had linked aspects of feminism with the environment, ephasizing how both are exploited and aggressively dominated. But this connection has always been present, even if it wasn’t often discussed. For instance, nature has many names like “Mother Nature” or “Mother Earth,” both of which are thought to stem from Greek mythology where Gaia–the first Greek goddess– created all life, and works to maintain harmony. 

Sexism in Dress Codes

Halloween is right around the corner and for a lot of people that means discussions of costumes and outfits have been the hot topic the last couple of weeks. Or maybe even months if you’re somewhere who likes to plan ahead. Whether you’re going to a costume party, hosting one yourself, taking a younger sibling trick-or-treating, or just dressing up for fun at home, Halloween costumes are a chance to have fun. Unfortunately, it is also a time of year when familiar derogatory comments begin to resurface, particularly about the types of costumes we wear. The concept of “sexy” costumes became popular in the 1970s when adults began celebrating Halloween again and gained even more traction during the era of “barely-there” fashion in the 90s. Women were actively embracing their sensuality and feeling sexy and powerful in an expressive and creative way. Because of this, women were and are still actively shamed because they’re viewed as provocative.

Shaming women for their clothing choices is nothing new. But if the shaming of “sexy” Halloween costumes is a relatively new topic, then where else is the shaming of women’s clothing prevalent? Why are women unable to express themselves how they want to with their clothing without being shamed for being inappropriate. One big reason that women’s clothing is frowned upon is because of dress codes that are strictly enforced while we’re in school. We’ve probably all heard the familiar narrative: school is a professional environment and you need to dress accordingly. Or something of that nature. But the nature of what was considered “professional” or appropriate seemed to get more and more ridiculous as I progressed through my K12 academic career. We were being taught from a very young age that our bodies were something that needed to be covered up. In short, the dress code harmed us in one extreme way: it contributed to the objectification of our bodies and changed how we viewed ourselves.