As my time here on the blog dwindles down, I would like to write once again about a topic near and dear to my heart. Girl friendships. This post may sound a lot like a post I wrote earlier about Galantine’s day. But it is not, this time I want to focus on how sometimes the media does not know how to get a girl friendship right.
The friendship between women is something else. I cannot quite encapsulate the feelings that I have for my friends, or how they have helped me in more ways than I can even count. But my girlfriends are my rocks, they are my best friends, I cannot think of life without them. While there can be bad friendships that cause more harm than good, there are also friendships that enrich lives and make life so much better.
Women are constantly presented as sex objects in the media (Advertisements, movies, etc.). This degrades women and can cause many insecurities and issues for women who are constantly surrounded by this hypersexualized, unrealistic image of what we expect women to be. We all know this though because this content is constantly getting called out and criticized. Something surrounding this issue that isn’t so popular is how it hurts a woman’s sexuality as well. Problems surrounding sexuality aren’t just reserved for women, there are so many issues surrounding how we should express our sexuality and if it should be accepted for all genders. This is not only perpetuated by the media industry but by porn as well. These industries help to degrade women, perpetuate stereotypes about all genders, and contribute to the idea that women’s sexuality shouldn’t be taken seriously because it is only there for the pleasure of straight men.
Here we are, back to the patriarchy. Where a woman’s sexuality is only supposed to be explored for men to look at and men aren’t supposed to explore their sexuality at all unless it’s to bang as many women as he can.
Relationships seem to be dominated by men. Whether this is because of the social/cultural expectation that men are supposed to be powerful, or because they are always assumed to be the dominate gender, I’m not sure. I think that it is a mixture of both. Men are seen as in control; they make the first move, pay for dates, buy gifts, etc. This idea that a man should be the head of the relationship has been around since the dawn of patriarchy, but the American expectations in relationship related behavior seems to be heavily based on the traditional 1950’s “American Dream” ideal. Continue reading “Romance and the Hidden Woman”→
In college, everyone faces tough times: We fail tests, classes, have personal struggles, or just have a bad day in general. Everyone needs something to help them cope. I personally like to crawl into bed and watch Netflix. I have a friend that watches YouTube videos, another that does her make-up. What you do can be very personalized to who you are and what helps you to relieve stress. Self-care is an important thing for everyone to do because it can be beneficial to your health and improve your relationships with your friends, family, and significant others.
There is a topic I would like to share with everyone. It’s called self-compassion. Self-compassion is when you realize that you will not be able to do everything you think can. Self-compassion is about treating yourself like you would treat someone else who is struggling. This is an important topic for everyone to remember because it’s a hard one to get. I struggle with this one too, occasionally, I get over ambitious and think that I can do and succeed at everything, then I do and I fail everything. I’m trying to say that we need to think of ourselves like we would think of our very best friends if they said they were going to do what every we were planning. Continue reading “The Importance of Self-care”→
Get this. A feminist walks into a bar, face smudged with ash, thick Carhartt bib overalls, long hair tucked in a cap, perfectly manicured nails, and a strapping fellow by her side. They order two steaks, a beer each, and she has a salad, no dressing. She fidgets as she tries to adjust her thong underwear. When the check comes, he pays. He holds the door as they walk out of the bar, and she climbs to a diesel pickup pulling a trailer full of wood. He drives.
I started dating my first boyfriend when I was 17, got engaged when I was 19 and then married a year later. I am 22 now and will be celebrating my two year wedding anniversary in August. This might seem crazy or way too fast to some, but for me it was just right. Now, I am not some seasoned pro here to give unsolicited relationship advice. I am just a college girl who found love at a young age. I am here to share my experience about marrying young and how, contrary to popular belief, it has not destroyed my life.
Now I still have my whole life ahead of me so there is plenty of time for things to go sour but as of right now I don’t regret my decision to get hitched at 20. I think married life is great. It is not too much different from not being married even though every person asks us, “How does it feel?” and “How’s married life?” These are two questions my husband and I constantly got asked after we got married and even still now. It feels great to be married and I love it but honestly our lives didn’t change drastically after we said our vows. Some things did though.
I come from a long line of women who get the job done. No matter if it is making lunch for a haying crew of thirty hungry ranchers, or rallying resources in the last minutes before a Christmas morning gathering to make sure the late additions to our table would have gifts to open after dessert. We accomplish the task. My female friends are equally driven. I’ve been on a crew of five that made all the food for a wedding with over 300 guests. We stayed up all night peeling potatoes for salad and rolling up pieces of lunch meat for the buffet and got up the next morning in time to set it all up, dress the bride, get to the service, and smile in the photographs. My girlfriends and I have cut firewood, branded calves, painted, packed, and proved over and over that no matter the job, we can get it done.
And now many of those same women and I have joined the ranks of our sisters all over the globe to get other jobs done. Together we are marching for change, for peace, for climate, for the environment. I’ve joined sister-friends in democratic calls for action, given a thumbs up on every single photo another friend posts about wild spaces and our need to keep them. And I have sat in a classroom with the wonderful bloggers that I share this space with, and talked about the challenges and the rewards of being female and the best way to showcase those.