The election of 2016 was an incredibly trying time for people of all political parties, friendships, and families. Although difficult for me as well, I was very vocal about my opinions especially through social media. Social media is one of the most prominent and available platforms to share information, current events, and even political discourse. During that time though many people avoided social media. The stress of the election was a great one to bear for sure. I did feel, however, that it was important for me to explain why this election was so important and why I feared the possible outcomes for the next four years.
Meanwhile, I had many people tell me that they unfollowed me or stayed off social media or refused to discuss opinions between people. Of course, I understand that some conversations will lead nowhere, but no conversation at all will also lead nowhere. There is a balance there that naturally comes with judgement. Even after the election is long past many people continue to stay silent on issues that are held very close to my heart as well as many others. While I understand wholly the seemingly unnecessary stress talking about politics may have on a relationship of any kind, I still find my heart dropping when people tell me they don’t talk about politics. This is because politics is a lot more than just that. “Politics” entail the livelihood and safety of ourselves and those around us, politics are healthcare and reproductive rights and environmental concerns and politics concern so many different life’s and families. If politics don’t affect you, they will affect someone you know and may care about.
As my time here on the blog dwindles down, I would like to write once again about a topic near and dear to my heart. Girl friendships. This post may sound a lot like a post I wrote earlier about Galantine’s day. But it is not, this time I want to focus on how sometimes the media does not know how to get a girl friendship right.
The friendship between women is something else. I cannot quite encapsulate the feelings that I have for my friends, or how they have helped me in more ways than I can even count. But my girlfriends are my rocks, they are my best friends, I cannot think of life without them. While there can be bad friendships that cause more harm than good, there are also friendships that enrich lives and make life so much better.
Women are constantly presented as sex objects in the media (Advertisements, movies, etc.). This degrades women and can cause many insecurities and issues for women who are constantly surrounded by this hypersexualized, unrealistic image of what we expect women to be. We all know this though because this content is constantly getting called out and criticized. Something surrounding this issue that isn’t so popular is how it hurts a woman’s sexuality as well. Problems surrounding sexuality aren’t just reserved for women, there are so many issues surrounding how we should express our sexuality and if it should be accepted for all genders. This is not only perpetuated by the media industry but by porn as well. These industries help to degrade women, perpetuate stereotypes about all genders, and contribute to the idea that women’s sexuality shouldn’t be taken seriously because it is only there for the pleasure of straight men.
Here we are, back to the patriarchy. Where a woman’s sexuality is only supposed to be explored for men to look at and men aren’t supposed to explore their sexuality at all unless it’s to bang as many women as he can.
Relationships seem to be dominated by men. Whether this is because of the social/cultural expectation that men are supposed to be powerful, or because they are always assumed to be the dominate gender, I’m not sure. I think that it is a mixture of both. Men are seen as in control; they make the first move, pay for dates, buy gifts, etc. This idea that a man should be the head of the relationship has been around since the dawn of patriarchy, but the American expectations in relationship related behavior seems to be heavily based on the traditional 1950’s “American Dream” ideal. Continue reading “Romance and the Hidden Woman”→
In college, everyone faces tough times: We fail tests, classes, have personal struggles, or just have a bad day in general. Everyone needs something to help them cope. I personally like to crawl into bed and watch Netflix. I have a friend that watches YouTube videos, another that does her make-up. What you do can be very personalized to who you are and what helps you to relieve stress. Self-care is an important thing for everyone to do because it can be beneficial to your health and improve your relationships with your friends, family, and significant others.
There is a topic I would like to share with everyone. It’s called self-compassion. Self-compassion is when you realize that you will not be able to do everything you think can. Self-compassion is about treating yourself like you would treat someone else who is struggling. This is an important topic for everyone to remember because it’s a hard one to get. I struggle with this one too, occasionally, I get over ambitious and think that I can do and succeed at everything, then I do and I fail everything. I’m trying to say that we need to think of ourselves like we would think of our very best friends if they said they were going to do what every we were planning. Continue reading “The Importance of Self-care”→
Get this. A feminist walks into a bar, face smudged with ash, thick Carhartt bib overalls, long hair tucked in a cap, perfectly manicured nails, and a strapping fellow by her side. They order two steaks, a beer each, and she has a salad, no dressing. She fidgets as she tries to adjust her thong underwear. When the check comes, he pays. He holds the door as they walk out of the bar, and she climbs to a diesel pickup pulling a trailer full of wood. He drives.
I started dating my first boyfriend when I was 17, got engaged when I was 19 and then married a year later. I am 22 now and will be celebrating my two year wedding anniversary in August. This might seem crazy or way too fast to some, but for me it was just right. Now, I am not some seasoned pro here to give unsolicited relationship advice. I am just a college girl who found love at a young age. I am here to share my experience about marrying young and how, contrary to popular belief, it has not destroyed my life.
Now I still have my whole life ahead of me so there is plenty of time for things to go sour but as of right now I don’t regret my decision to get hitched at 20. I think married life is great. It is not too much different from not being married even though every person asks us, “How does it feel?” and “How’s married life?” These are two questions my husband and I constantly got asked after we got married and even still now. It feels great to be married and I love it but honestly our lives didn’t change drastically after we said our vows. Some things did though.