By Makayla Sundquist
As my senior year comes to a close, I am almost forced to reflect on my college experience. I have grown tremendously in four years, and because this is my last blog post, I wanted to write a letter to myself as a young college freshman. Maybe this will be relatable. Maybe you will gain insights. Maybe this letter will spark similar memories. Perhaps, you will hate it. (I hope not) Whatever you take away from this post, I am going to write it anyway.
Dear freshman Makayla,
Your high school boyfriend is going to dump you.
Goodness, had we known that we could have saved ourselves some serious heartache. It is going to tear your heart out, and destroy your self-esteem. Here is my advice…please do not go looking for attention from other men. I know it’s hard. I know you just want to feel appreciated and validated. However, they cannot give you what you need. Girl, you need to build yourself up. Focus on you. Go to coffee with your friends. Go on walks. Cherish your alone time. Getting too drunk and hanging on boys at parties is not going to fix the hole he left. Love yourself first. Self-esteem was always a hard thing for us, but as a new independent adult, that is something we have to work on. You’re really awesome, and I promise you will figure it out eventually.
Stop selling yourself short.
(Senior Makayla is still working on this, so nobody is perfect.) You are talented and athletic. You are kind and you are smart. You are creative and you are friendly. These are important qualities, so focus on them. You have a great smile. Smile more often. Negative self-talk will get us nowhere.
Please please please (this one means a lot to me) play your hardest in every soccer game.
I know we have worked so hard to be able to play at the next level. I know we have put countless hours into getting better, and I know practice is hard. I know things didn’t always go the way we wanted, but please play your heart out. Remember how much you love this game. Remember how much it makes you smile. Had I known what would happen, I would be the first one at the field, and the last to leave. Trying to savor every minute we had left. Push yourself. It will be gone all too quickly.
Remember that your high school friends are still your friends, even if they don’t always text you back.
I know, we were lonely, but people grow. Remember that you will grow too! Do not hold it against your old friends when they start making new friends. We love our friends, and we want them to be happy. Being petty and bitter are not the qualities of a good friend. You will learn that eventually. Be that as it may, I hope you learn it sooner, rather than later.
School is important, but so is your mental health.
We have always been perfectionists, and I knew that I wouldn’t have to worry about you, but you need to learn to relax. Learn to take breaks, and learn that you don’t always have to be perfect. I am still working on that. I just wish I could have told you sooner.
With that being said, go to class.
You are paying for this, and yes, I know it will be tempting to sleep through that 8:30. (Why on earth did we think that was a good idea?) But go. You will learn how to speak up in class. You will learn how to interact in a college class room. You will learn how get to up 10 minutes before class and still make it on time. That is the best thing I could ever teach you. So, go to class, and learn how to do the reading that will never go away.
Hold onto your new friends so tightly.
The two short years you spend at Skagit Valley Community college will never be enough. I want you to put your phone down when you are with them, hug them every day, and let them know how much they mean to you. When you leave, they are going far away. Some of them are going to different countries. You will still get the chance to talk to them, but it will not be the same. Cherish every single second.
My dear freshman me, if I could tell you one thing, it is that you are good enough.
You do not have to please everyone. You only have to please yourself. In fact, you can’t please everyone. Stop trying to change who you are. I know college is an adjustment, and I know it can be really hard, but do not compromise yourself. You are good enough for me. You are good enough for your friends and you are good enough for your family. Learn to let other people’s critical remarks roll off your back.
You got this girl. Let’s have the best four years of our life.
All my love,
Senior Makayla
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