Sex Talk With Nick: Mastering Masturbation

Nick Dimico

Welcome to Sex Talk with Nick, your weekly dose of pleasure. I’m here to give you an educational insight into the world of sex. This week, we are going to discuss how to find the best pleasure for yourself when it comes to masturbation.

Masturbation is sexual stimulation of one’s own genitals, usually to the point of an orgasm. The stimulation can be performed using the hands, fingers, everyday objects, or sex toys. Mutual masturbation can also be a pleasurable substitute for sexual penetration. Masturbation is frequent in humans of both sexes and all ages; although there is variation in how it is completed, along with how many times per day you can pleasure yourself.

“I masturbate at least once a day, if not more,” said Adam, straight, 24, sexually active. “I have masturbated up to eight times in one day though.”

Pleasuring yourself can often be fun or exciting, but at times it can also be confusing.

“It’s hard for me to masturbate,” said Jessica, 21, straight, virgin. “I find no pleasure in masturbating. I don’t know if I am just not doing it right or if I just simply don’t receive pleasure from it.”

This is completely normal. We all receive pleasure in different ways, and sometimes we may find pleasure, while other times we may not.

Masturbation can also be frightening for those who are just beginning.

My first time masturbating went like this:

One day when I was 14, I was home alone because my dad had gone golfing for the day with his girlfriend. I was watching T.V. and I saw something that really turned me on. With my dad out of the house, I felt that it was the perfect time to experiment with different types of pleasure. I fired up my computer, found a porn site, and I began with what I like to call “chucking my chicken.” I grabbed my lotion and started to feel extreme pleasure. After a while I had this feeling of something coming out (cum), but I wasn’t sure what it was and I had no idea as to what was going to happen next. So, at the time of climax instead of ejaculating, I decided to squeeze around the head of my penis. Just about a minute later ,I began to feel a burning pain like nothing I have ever had before. When I looked down I noticed that it was extremely inflamed, and dark red. Around the head of the shaft it had begun to swell. I was definitely scared. I tried massaging it, but it was still inflamed and very swollen. I urinated to see if that would help, but nothing worked. After an hour of being scared that I had done permanent damage, I broke down and called my dad.

Dad: Hello.

Me: Dad…I’m scared.

Dad: Why? What’s wrong?

Me: (lying) Well, I went to bathroom and I think I squeezed my penis to hard because now it is extremely inflamed and is very swollen around the head.

Dad: Um…OK? Well, I will take you to the doctor tomorrow to get it looked at.

Me: (sighing) OK…I guess I will see you when you get home. Bye.

When I went to the doctor the next day, the nurse in the lobby asked me what was wrong. With me embarrassed and beet red, I whispered to her that my penis was swollen. She laughed and asked me to take a seat. Confused and worried, I waited for the doctor to call me back. Once I was in the room, the doctor asked me many questions about being sexually active and what I was doing when this happened. When I started to tell him, he stopped me and asked if I had stuck it in any objects. With a confused look, I sat there in silence. He asked me again. “Did you stick your penis in any objects, like in any wine bottles or any holes that would cause it to swell?” I was like um…no. I told him that I was masturbating and something happened where it started to swell and get inflamed. He laughed and told me I wasn’t the first one. He gave me a prescription and told me that the swelling should reduce within next couple days. He sent me on my way, and that was my memorable first masturbation experience. For weeks afterwards, I couldn’t even touch it without being scared that it was going become swollen again.

Although, I wasn’t successful with my first time masturbating, many people are.

“My first time masturbating was fantastic,” said Stacy, straight, 32, sexually active. “It helped me learn so much about my body and what triggers pleasure in my body. I couldn’t have been any happier with my first experience.”

What we use in order to pleasure ourselves is also a huge aspect of masturbation.

“I use many sex toys when masturbating,” said Lindsey, 23, straight, sexually active. “I find it easier for me to cum when I am using a vibrator. It gives me a great sensation and it makes it a lot quicker.”

Although Lindsey may find satisfaction in using toys, Mark finds pleasure in liquid form.

“I typically use dry hand,” said Mark, 24, straight, sexually active. “Although lube is a good way to either speed up or even slow down the process. I suggest using water-based lube because it doesn’t get sticky, it lasts longer, and won’t stain clothing or bedding.”

How we please ourselves with toys or lube also can vary among sexual orientations.

“Using a butt plug is very natural for me,” said Craig, 22, gay, sexually active. “I find it to give a great satisfaction to my prostate.”

Location and times of the days can also be different from person to person.

I like to masturbate in the evening when I am calm, relaxed, and ready for bed.

“I love masturbating in the middle of day,” said Brian, straight, 39, sexually active. “It is a nice stress reliever. Where I do it, is mostly in my home on my lunch break. I need the privacy, and I feel that is the most private time for me.”

With masturbation comes variety in what you can do, how you can do it, and the location and times that are best for you.

So, as you can see masturbation can be complicated or hard to understand, but it can also be very pleasing. We are all human beings, we are equal (or should be), and we all have ways of finding and acting on certain pleasures. There is no right and no wrong to sex, just a diversity pool of pleasures. The more open-minded we are to sex, the more we are going to learn about it throughout the rest of our lives, but remember, safety first.

Happy Pleasuring! ❤

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