Welcome to Sex Talk with Nick, your weekly dose of pleasure. I’m here to give you an educational insight into the world of sex. This week we are going to discuss virginity and how you can decide for yourself the definition behind the V-card.
A virgin is someone who has not obtained some type of sexual experience. The reason I state this is because as a human you have the choice to decide whether you have had a sexual experience in which your virginity has been taken.
Many people often think that in order for you not to be a virgin anymore, you have to have intercourse with penetration, and that is not the case in all situations.
The term “virgin” originally only referred to sexually inexperienced women, but has evolved to encompass a range of definitions, as found in traditional, modern, and ethical concepts. Heterosexual individuals may or may not consider loss of virginity to occur only through penile-vaginal penetration, while people of other sexual orientations often include oral sex, anal sex, or mutual masturbation in their definitions of losing one’s virginity.
When I conducted the sex study for my research, I wasn’t surprised when I read that many people would like to take back their virginity or had regrets about it. People often want to take it back for reasons such as not being ready, wished they could have waited till marriage, they were pressured into doing it, or problems relating to their partner.
“If I could take back my virginity I would,” said Jarrod, 23, bisexual, sexually active. “My first time happened to have been a one night stand and it hurt like hell (emotionally) the next morning till I was able to finally accept the parts I couldn’t change.”
Some people want to take it back because of issues dealing with their partner’s addictions.
“I would definitely take my virginity back,” said Lauretta, 23, bisexual, sexually active. “The guy sold drugs and was in jail for a while.”
For those who haven’t experienced sex yet, it’s hard to be able to discuss how they feel sexually without any experience behind them.
“I have never had sex,” said Ean, 20, straight, virgin. “I feel people have sex to get revenge on other people and to have fun, but I don’t know. I masturbate everyday, but I have never experienced sex with anyone.”
When you don’t know, how do you learn? Do you ask your friends? Do you ask your family? Do you figure it out yourself? All of these questions are extremely valid, and in actuality none of them are wrong when it comes to figuring out how to obtain information about sex.
Experimenting is also a very normal way to figure out what you like and don’t like, and it can be done in so many ways.
“I experimented with one of my friends,” said Bill, 27, straight, sexually active. “We both had no experience with sex, which made it so much easier for the both of us to experiment with each other. I felt more comfortable instead of feeling embarrassed by someone who had more experience than I did. Although it was a little awkward, it was the best way for me.”
Growing up, most of the things I learned about sex were through experimenting with another person, as well as by watching pornography. It’s perfectly normal for people to use this method, but it can lead to complications in real-life situations as it is a performance used to entertain or pleasure others.
Sex can be very complicated, confusing, overwhelming and even stressful in the eyes of a virgin. It can be hard to understand because there is no perfect source to “mastering” sex.
In order for you to get the best knowledge for yourself, you need to find the way that works for you because everyone has a different way finding their own pleasures.
So, as you can see sex can be so many things. We are all human beings, we are equal (or should be), and we all have ways of finding and acting on certain pleasures. There is no right and no wrong to sex, just a diversity pool of pleasures. The more open-minded we are to sex the more we are going to learn about it throughout the rest of our lives, but remember safety first.
Happy Pleasuring! ❤